Here I am. Back on Tumblr. With a different spin on things. Initially, this space was a forum for me to post updates on my jewelry line TOKI, write about people and things that inspire me and keep it focused on design and fashion. After many blank stares sitting in front of the computer over the years, feeling this obligation to post something but wondering what to write about, I found myself coming out more often than not, empty handed. Designing is what I do and love but that wasn’t the end all be all of what I was passionate about in life. Trying to find something to write about started to feel insincere so I decided to abandon ship. The limitations and parameters I was setting for myself were too stifling to the point that I started to overthink instead of just writing whatever I was interested in at the time. And that’s the thing. I have a lot of interests beyond what surrounds my profession and they are constantly changing. Life now is filled with my 18 month old son Harper (pictured above at 5 months) and needless to say, while I never thought I would be that mom that suddenly became interested in all things motherhood and baby stuff, here I am, pouring over cool kids magazines and blogs (Milk Magazine is my favorite), shopping for Harper (more fun buying clothes for him than it is for me!) and building his library with wonderfully whimsical books. At this point, I am definitely enjoying the content of these books more than he is.
With that said, this Tumblr site will be a random collection of anything goes and I hope whomever happens upon it, enjoys the tidbits of information I share. The picture in this post was taken on my first Mother’s Day (May 2013) and I remember thinking I can partake as a mom on this day rather than just a daughter. And it felt just right and overwhelming all at once. I was somebody’s mom. When I think of my own mom, I think of all the things she did for us growing up and even now and how wide and vast her responsibility was and I know still is for her. After all, I will always be her little girl that she worries about, looks out for and cares for. I know this now because the moment I held Harper for the first time, I felt this overwhelming responsibility to protect him fiercely. In his newbie days, I was just trying to make sure I didn’t let his head flop backward, trip while holding him and make sure he had enough cc’s of breast milk. That’s right, I was measuring little droplets of nutrition to the cc. That was how I was trying to protect him then and now as he enters the world of walking, I don’t want him to fall but know he will. All these new stages happen in front of you with only the pretense of what others tell you. But what others tell you is different from the actual experience. I thought this picture was apropos for many reasons, one of which is this shift into motherhood and how it has fundamentally changed me. It represents the beginning of something new. And I’d like this site to be the start of something new as well.
Last but not least, the beautiful white lab is Fern. This post would not be complete without paying homage to my little Fernie girl. She passed away a little over a year ago just shy of her 10th birthday. For anyone that has had a companion animal in their life, ten years is too young, even though they are officially seniors at seven. We adopted her from Young at Heart Pet Rescue when she entered her senior years at the age of seven and had 2+ wonderful years with her. Harper will never remember her but I will be forever grateful that he spent almost everyday with his fur sister up until he was six months. I’d like to think that is why he is such an animal lover already.